So when the book’s finally published and out there and complete strangers are buying it with proper money and reading it and some of them are even writing reviews saying they like it (bless their hearts!), what do you do then?

You write the next one, obviously, but you also have to publicise the dear first book a bit.

You go on the local radio and the local newspaper prints a photo that makes your dog look rather good, but you look very,very bad. You are smiling in a weird way and holding the book at the wrong angle completely. (Note to self: practise holding book at correct photographic angle and smiling so that you look less...challenged.)

Friends and family all very enthusiastic and kind. Family insanely enthusiastic to the point of starring in and directing/editing film trailer. The senior nun is my Mum – we couldn’t get her out of the costume – she loved it.

Then you start thinking you might mention it to people; at work, say.

But how do you do this without developing Ancient Mariner Syndrome? (Is is an Ancient Mariner/And (s)he stoppeth one of three)

All advice gratefully received.